What are you modeling to your spouse and the world around you through your marriage? If you are not married, what do you wish to or think you should model to your future spouse and the world around you through your marriage?
In this blog we will be talking about modeling in marriage and what you should be modeling to your spouse and those in the world around you through your marriage.
Modeling Christ’s Character
Christ’s character should be modeled by you in your marriage. If you personally desire to be more fit in your marriage, this should be your number one goal. The goal should not be to win arguments or be served to have all of your needs met. Don’t make your spouse your god. Your spouse will fail and fall short trying to meet needs that only God can fully meet. Just as Christ came to serve and not be served, you should do your best to model Christ in this this your marriage. Try to out serve one another. Be like Christ to your spouse.
A Model To Each Other & The World
Your marriage should be a model to each other and simultaneously a model to the world. People are watching, especially your kids if you have children. Your marriage therefore is a target for the enemy. He wants to destroy the image of Christ in you, your family, and your marriage. Don’t fall for the trap of the enemy and start viewing and treating each other as the enemy. You are on the same team. A three strand cord is not easily broken (Ecclesiates 4:12) but as soon as you leave Christ out or take your eyes off of Him, the enemy will do all that he can to permanently unravel it.
Ephesians instructs us to first submit to one another, then emphasizes that wives are to submit to their husbands as the head in everything, and then instruct husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:21-33).
I believe the following should be true as it pertains to Kingdom marriages: Husbands model to their wife God’s love for, and pursuit of, us as His bride. Wives model to their husband submission to God as His bride. This should be increasingly evident as we fulfill our roles and responsibilities as Kingdom husbands and wives.
To the wife: If you can’t submit to your husband, can you really say you are submitted to God, who you can’t see? Are you really a Kingdom wife? The level in which you are able to submit to your husband and His leadership says a lot about how submitted you are to Christ personally as His bride. If he is following Christ, you have no excuse. On the other end, if you can’t submit to Christ and His leading, no wonder you can’t submit to husband. Your lack of submission to God affects your ability to submit to your husband. On either end, your inability to submit to your husband hinders his ability to love, pursue, and lead you well. As a result, the cycle of frustration begins and/or continues.
To the husband, if you can’t love and pursue your wife, can you really say you love and are pursuing an intimate relationship with the Lord. Are you really a Kingdom husband? Love your wife as Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:25). Christ’s love is active. The expression of your love towards your wive should also be active. The level in which you love and pursue your wife says a lot about your true love for and personal pursuit of Christ as His bride. Not pursuing an intimate and loving relationship with God makes it impossible for you to love your wife the way He expects and has called you to love her. A lack of an intentional relationship with God negatively affects you ability to properly lead your wife. An inability to properly lead your wife hinders your wife’s ability to trust and submit to your leadership. As a result, disfunction and disorder begins to manifest and/or continue in the marriage.
As husbands, we should be modeling submission to our wives in the way we visibly submit to the Lord. That’s a part of servant leadership. Be mindful that this is suppose to be true of every Christian household. Husbands, it’s hard for your wives to submit to you if you are not submitted to the Lord. If your wife can’t trust or visibly see that you are actually hearing from the Lord and being led by the Holy Spirit, she will have a difficult time submitting to you. Submit to the Lord inwardly and outwardly and your wife will be more inclined, with the help of the Holy Spirit, to fully submit to you and your leadership. This becomes the actual result because it is actually Christ in you, through the Holy Spirit, that your wife is seeing and willingly submitting to as you lead in your marriage.
Ephesians instructs husbands to love their wives. It most cases, it seems that it is easier for women to give, show, and express love than men. I believe wives best model unconditional love to their husbands in the way they unconditionally love God in their words, thoughts, and actions. A wife’s love for Christ should visibly transfer in her love for her husband. It’s hard for a husband to love his wife when the wife don’t display the love of Christ, especially towards him as her husband. Model love well and he will be more inclined, through the power of the Holy Spirit, to better love you well.
Modeling In Marriage
We can learn from each other as we intentionally model well that which our spouse should see in and through our lives.
Man of God, is your wife having a hard time submitting to you? Evaluate your visual (public and private) submission to the Lord and intentional love and pursuit of your wife. What are you modeling to her? Honor the Lord in your role, pray for her, and do what the Lord instructs you to do.
Woman of God, is your husband having a hard time loving and pursuing you? Evaluate your love and pursuit of the Lord and your submission to your husband. What are you modeling to him? Honor the Lord in your role, pray for him, and do what the Lord instructs you to do.
You cannot control your spouse and you are not responsible for their decision. You are responsible for yourself and the instructions/guidelines God has given you through His Word and to you in your prayer time with Him. You have to obey what God is telling you to do regardless of what your spouse does or says to you. As you honor the Lord and do what He expects you to do, it is possible He might use you to win over your spouse. This would leads to your spouse getting into proper alignment with His will, desire, and plan for you all’s marriage. Even if He does not, in good conscious you can say you honored or are honoring the Lord in your marriage and have the confidence that He is pleased with you.
A married couple fighting on the same team is powerful. Fight for your marriage. Fight together. Take marital fitness seriously and let the let the Lord use it to transform you and the world around you.
For more encouragement, follow me @fitnessbydigits and my wife @triumphantwife on Instagram. We are for you and your marriage. Feel free to reach out to us for help. We love being used by God to see marriages restored and strengthened for His glory.
Fitness By Digits
Amen!!! This is very powerful and timely.